Month: February 2017

I’m Already Seeing Dramatic Changes

im already seeing dramatic changesIt was only about a week ago that we were walking in the park and Ean saw two slightly older toddlers playing with a ball. He stopped me and pointed towards them. I told him to go play, to go catch the ball but he was just stomping in one spot, as if frustrated. Well, I couldn’t exactly hold his hand and walk up to them, I’ve been wanting him to take those small steps towards interacting with other children and being independent but as much as I nagged him, he didn’t budge.

Finally, one of the kids kicked the ball a bit further away and neither one wanted to go get it, so I told Ean again, go… go… go! Usually that triggers his inner frat boy and it’s the standard way with which we get him to finish his food, drink or to do something he’s hesitating to do.

He started to pace slowly towards the ball, all the while keeping an eye on the other children who were now being busy doing something else. Like a boy shyly shuffling his way towards to ask a girl to dance for the first time, he slowly made his way towards the ball which was lodged in the fence of a fountain.

The boy was very well behaved, didn’t push or do anything harmful, he just stood there with the ball, as if inviting Ean to play.

He stopped about 1 meter away from it, grabbed the fence and was kind of leaning and stretching to try to reach the ball with his foot (which he just needed to take 2 more steps to reach if he really wanted) but it was as if an invisible barrier was keeping him from it, a barrier by means of lacking confidence. I kept encouraging him to take the ball, to bring it to me but to no avail. He gave up and started walking back towards me and as he was doing that, the other kid ran after the ball and took it.

A moment after Ean had reached me, the boy came up to us and stood next to Ean. The boy was very well behaved, didn’t push or do anything harmful, he just stood there with the ball, as if inviting Ean to play.

Ean started to look nervous and looked at me, then at the boy and again at me and slowly started grinning and then crying. I felt so bad for him, not because he was crying but because he simply lacked the instinct or knowledge of how to interact with another child. The boy stood between me and Ean and as soon as Ean realised he couldn’t reach me without passing the boy, he started crying.

It wasn’t a “oh my god I’m going to die”, just a “what am I supposed to do? This is making me sooo uncomfortable”. Either way, I couldn’t just push him towards the other kid, then I might scare him too and then there would be no winner.…

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The Daycare Was Wrong

the daycare was wrongDon’t you just love to be right? Of course you do! Who doesn’t? Ean just finished his first full week of settling period at the daycare where the second half was done according to my wishes and as I explained in my previous post, it was an uphill battle for me to try to convince them of my method and philosophy.

There is something to be said about the importance of trying, failing, fighting and succeeding and even for a young child it’s important to understand resilience. On this, both me and the management agreed but the difference between us is that I know my son, and the staff making assumptions about Ean and his behaviour patterns was not helpful at all.

My idea was simple at its core. Ean is a very independent and social person but he has to feel safe, like most of us. If we go to a new place, or let’s say a party, we don’t want to go alone and we don’t feel comfortable or confident in a room full of strangers. Right? If this is normal for us as adults, why not for a toddler? At least we have the capacity to speak, they don’t.…

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Why I Don’t Believe In Daycares And Crying

daycare and cryingCall me silly, but I don’t think crying is something one should just say okay too, especially not when it’s a person who doesn’t have neither the verbal or intellectual capacity to understand or explain, there is just one method of communication for them and that’s crying and screaming.

It’s not unusual for parents to just after a few months start taking their kids to daycare and in Malta most of those daycares will not have any practice of transition or adaptation. Meaning, you basically just drop your offspring off on the first day and come back when it’s time for pickup. At best they’ll have a gradual time frame increasing from 1 hour until pickup time, but this is done over a very short time. Most likely that child will cry until she gives up and/or realises that there’s no danger. I wouldn’t do that to my pet, and certainly not to my own child.

Most caregivers here will argue that it’s perfectly natural that they cry, OF COURSE it’s natural, but crying how long? 1 hour? 4 hors? Is it right or even humane? No, of course not! It’s not boot camp and it’s not “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or any other macho bullshit. It’s just cruel.…

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Getting The Most Out Of Your Photos

Processed with MOLDIVI’ve said this before but I can’t stress enough how important post production is to photos. We all take thousands of photos of our kids over the years and in this digital day and age (gosh I sound like a proper geezer) we don’t pay as much love and attention to the photos as we used to do when we were limited to 30 pics per roll.

Obviously there is nothing but benefits from this development and on top of that we now have editing tools right inside our phones to make our pictures go from the above left picture, to the right one. The difference is dramatic and for me makes the difference between just another picture in my huge library and a photo I would actually like to print and frame.

Don’t worry, you’re not here to study or learn anything… I just wanted to give you the name of the apps and give a shout out to Snapseed which allows me to make a mundane image pop and TADAA SLR (probably worst app name ever) for that delicious shallow depth of field (the blurry background also known as bokeh).

Regardless which image editing tool you use, this shows how incredibly important post production is and how it makes the difference between a Tuesday and a lifetime memory. Below you’ll find a link to my Instagram, if you do have any specific questions about how to do what with your photos just shoot me a message on Facebook.

 

[instagram-feed]…

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