Month: April 2017

Do It Today

Uncategorized   Fatherologist

Look, I get it. There are good days and bad days and endless diaper changing, mess cleaning, laundry doing days. Some days we’re hanging on just by a thread. But you know what? The cleaning and laundry can wait. It’s important to remember that these days are never coming back, today will be gone forever when tomorrow rolls in and one of those tomorrows will be your last day on earth.

You can holler YOLO and carpe diem or call those who do, crazy. But, whatever you do, be present, be in the moment. Not just for your kids to have good memories of you, but for yourself to absorb the most out of what’s out there for you. It may not be the sea, it may not be lavish or luxurious but there is beauty and peace everywhere, whether it’s in the woods, at the playground, in the park or simply anywhere in the company of a good friend.

 
So wherever you are in the world, whatever your surroundings look like. Get out, go somewhere, do something, see or experience something and just be with your kids. Do it today because if tomorrow is your last day you’ll be thankful for yesterday.
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I Will Raise My Son Atheist

Uncategorized   Fatherologist

i will raise my son atheistTo me, God and religion in general have no place in the world more than Harry Potter, Greek mythology or Thor’s mighty hammer. They’re cultural stories, guidelines, threats and rules for how to live, all of which belong to an old society and our entertained imagination.

I’m of Assyrian decent which means religion plays a part of the culture I grew up in, so I was raised Christian. Despite that, I feel very uneasy around religious people, even as a kid, and I denounced my Christianity very early as I stepped out of childhood. As a teenager I read the Koran, Bhagavad Gita and of course the Bible as well only to find that they were pretty much all about the same thing, sucom to Gods will, or else…

My teenage revolt was not to go wild, but to meditate. Instead of books, I looked for answers from where I thought it mattered the most, within. Every day I would sit in my room and meditate to try to find myself and the answers I was looking for.

What had been taught, expected or preached to me was not what I connected with, so I tried to find my own answers with a constantly echoing question of why. I questioned everything from my parents, society, the world, even myself and the universe itself, because God was not the answer to any of it.…

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Don’t Just Be There, Be Present

Uncategorized   Fatherologist

dont just be there be presentCaution, this post is self righetous and condecending. My day started at 5:00. At 6 I picked up Ean from bed and by 6:30 we were out for our morning run. Then it was the normal routine of getting home, saying bye to mom when she goes to work, breakfast (don’t forget the fresh juice!), a bit of downtime and by 9:30 we were at the park til’ noon, then supermarket and home for a nap, during which I did my regular work, emailing and planning.

Ana had a doctor’s  appointment so she couldn’t make it home for our usual lunch date but was sent home after the doctor´s at 14:00, to which I decided on a celebratory BBQ that took longer than expected (2 hours!). After lunch Ana wasn’t feeling well (don’t you dare blame the BBQ) and went to lie down and rest. It was 18:00 when I took Ean to the park so Ana could have some peace and quiet and this is where my rant begins.…

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Raising A Multilingual Child

Uncategorized   Fatherologist

raising a multilingual child

“Knowing your language isn’t as important as knowing your community and the people in it.”

Before Ean was born I wrote an article on the subject of national identity and how we were planning to teach Ean the four languages between us. The above quote is from that article and as I re-read it now my thoughts and feelings about it haven’t really changed at all but we did deviate from what we had planned initially.

By the time Ean was born, I made a last minute decision to alternate Swedish and Assyrian every week, and I did. Every Monday for 1.5 year, my linguistic computer had to reboot and reset. In the beginning it was fine but as he got older and started understanding what we were saying, I could see the confusion in his eyes every time Monday rolled in.

I’ve spent about 12 hours per day with Ean since he was born, while his mother spends about 2-3 hours per day during weekdays and catches up on weekends with more quality time. Considering that you’d think his first word would be Swedish, but Ean’s first word was in Spanish. His second, third and fourth were also Spanish.

Let’s just say his entire vocabulary is Spanish and considering how much time I spend with him compared to Ana, that’s a bit strange to me! When this kept going on for quite some time, I decided to abandon the bi-weekly language switches and go with the initial plan, to teach him Swedish first.…

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About Life And Death

Uncategorized   Fatherologist

about life and deathThis morning my father told me: “Don’t worry, the operation itself doesn’t hurt, it can only go one of two ways. Either I wake up again in this world, or  I say goodbye and wake up in the next”.  I couldn’t help but to laugh at his morbid sense of humor right before a hopefully life saving operation.

My father is close to 80 years old and of course at that age, all kinds of health issues arise. He’s a youthful and very active person but sickness doesn’t discriminate and eventually we ALL have to face that last fight.

I made peace with my own final fight a long time ago and I can proudly say I have achieved everything I set out to accomplish in life. Now I’m living the 2.0 life, through the eyes of my child. It’s something truly spectacular to be a part of and it even gives you closure on some of your own isms from the past.…

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