A Rant About Children’s Guided Evolution
Ean brought a present for the classroom the other day. It’s crazy how much he loves going to school. He literally cries if he can’t go one day and he’s so psyched every day at drop off and pick up. I’m glad I didn’t push him to daycare and took it all at his pace to make it a good experience.
Today someone asked me if he lives up to my hype of how I raise him with all the careful calculations and plans I make and all the lessons I teach him in preparation for major changes and she was in disbelief when I said it’s all pretty much worked exactly according to plans.
I say almost because you have to leave room for the kid to be who he is too and adapt the circumstances to him to make it as optimal as possible. Now I know, it sounds like I’m programming a computer but in reality it’s not that different. You have an idea of what you want to achieve and you use common sense, research and a whooooole lot of loving code to achieve your goal. And my goal? I simply want him to be the best possible version of himself by taking who he is, adding my experience and knowledge together with research and science to give him the best chance at success. I study him carefully to find his strengths and weaknesses and take it from there. I strongly disagree with passive parenting, where they just let the kid be whatever without molding, shaping, assisting and guiding.
You might think you’re letting that child be free but all you’re doing is letting everyone and everything else in his environment except you influence and shape him and then act surprised when he doesn’t perform as well as you’d hoped. I’ve spoken with a lot of parents who simply don’t want to try things because they just think their kids can’t handle it. Well, if you don’t think they can, how are they supposed to believe they can? Don’t do that, don’t leave it to chance, look at your kids foundation and build something amazing.
Let me give you a simple but essential example. Ean is sick right now, mucus and dry cough combined. He coughs, gasps for air, mucus gets in the way, tries to breath and airways are blocked followed by panic, gagging and twice in two days, vomit. Today I taught him the science of what is happening, as I just explained it. Then I explained how he can fix it. When he tries to breath and the throat tickles, slow the breathing down, take shallow breaths until the tickle lets go and then hit it with a big cough to release the mucus and if it doesn’t work, go back to shallow and slow breathing. All, to avoid that gag reflex and vomiting.
There, I’ve given my child a tool to handle a tough situation. I’ve removed the fear by explaining what it is and how to fix it and all I need to do now is to stay close to him, repeat what I taught him, breath… slow, you’re okay, everything is fine, just breath slow. Done. Yes I know, I’m not going into detail here about how I’ve been practicing meditation with him with breathing exercises and awareness of heart rate and the roll it plays in well being but you get the point. What I’m doing is no different from the mantras they teach in Daniel Tiger’s neighbourhood, you just have to be aware of its benefits and endless possibilities of helping your child to evolve.
Which kid do you think is going to be more evolved as a human being? The one who watches Daniel Tiger and all the lessons and techniques they teach or the one who’s rocking PJ Masks and Paw Patrol on repeat? Don’t get me wrong, Ean watches all of it but the focus is most of the time on evolving, learning and improving in every aspect. There are so many things to learn, guaranteed to tickle your kids interest. Create a natural curiosity about the world and your child will follow in amazement, I have no doubt!