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selfsoothingEan has been quite restless and fussy the last couple of days. Complaining and crying when not in our arms and in need of stimulation, closeness and entertainment. Why not try to sit him up and enjoy his constantly developing eyesight? Oh he loved it! Obviously he’s too young for his spine and head to support him longer than a few minutes but it gives our arms a break and right now it’s just too hot to wear the wrap for longer durations of time. But it’s okay, pretty soon we’re going to be longing for those sweet simple days when every problem could be fixed with food, diapers or cuddles. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t feel that holding my child a few hours per day is worse than the consequence of the so called “self soothing” approach.

Whatever you’ve read or heard about self soothing or the idea of letting baby’s cry themselves to sleep… it’s not an approach I appreciate. I strongly believe that it teaches the child abandonment at an early and fundamental stage in life. A person this young does not have ulterior motives for crying, it’s primal. So whether it’s diaper change, food, heat, cold or closeness that is desired, I feel it’s detrimental to his health to leave him unsatisfied and in disharmony.


One of the most entertaining things to do when you have a newborn is to see how they develop and change from one day to the next. It truly is incredible how much is going on in that tiny body.

I’d like to talk a bit about the eyes today. As you might know, when we are born we can’t really see a lot or very far for that matter. What we can see, is seen in black and white. This is because the eyes simply have not fully developed. From birth and over the next couple of months, the eyes go from being relatively primitive to something quite amazing. Like all other aspects of our bodies, even the eyes can be trained.…

one-month-laterIt’s getting easier to read his needs before he bursts into tears. I’m discovering more nuances between stomach cramps and burps, sleepiness and hunger etc. I believe in the idea of keeping a baby happy and avoid him starting to cry at all. Then there are moments when he’s just fussy and I really need to go change my own diaper and I guess it’s no big deal to leave him crying for a minute or two. The important thing is to give an overall sense of security so he never feels abandoned or ignored. I think things like that only cause bigger and worse problems for all of us later on.

Last week we introduced the bottle for the first time, which has worked wonders on our sleeping habits. We’ve worked out a pattern where I go to bed as I usually do around midnight and by then Ana and Ean are usually already sleeping. If he wakes up (which he does after 3-5 hours) she feeds and changes him and goes back to sleep if possible (sometimes he doesn’t want to sleep and then it’s just cozy and cuddle time… which one should really enjoy while they last because they grow, FAST). At around 5-7 am she wakes me up and she goes back to bed. Usually he stays in bed with me for some cuddles and Zzz and eventually when he gets hungry we have extracted breast milk in the fridge which I give him. This little change enables Ana to get another 2-3 hours of sleep and since she’s Spanish… she also likes to squeeze in an afternoon nap on top of that if possible. I run just fine on 6 hours of sleep.

I think the biggest change for me at this point is the feeling of going back to normal, somewhat anyway. I have the bottle to thank for that.

On the subject of growing, he grows about 1.5 cm and 400 grams per week! I’ve met mothers with 6 months old babies who swear they can barely remember when their baby was as small as Ean is right now. That’s why I say, enjoy and savour it.

I don’t know if the numbers are accurate that I find online but when I check development times, this guy is all over the place. He already keeps his head up (for some time), smiles and can even turn over from back to belly (or if it was the opposite). Some of these things aren’t supposed to happen until 3-4 months into development. I don’t know if that means anything for his future development, but it’s a funny observation.

I think the biggest change for me at this point is the feeling of going back to normal, somewhat anyway. I have the bottle to thank for that (no not you Tequila, not this time) to a great extent because it gives me and the Missus more time apart, which means I have more time to get some actual work done.…

11707890_10152847394921090_3762469888563235742_oYou know how the story goes, every parent has always told you that it’s hard to be a parent to a baby and your whole life changes. Well, they are lying. I always said I didn’t believe this idea and I still don’t. I can’t speak about parenting as a whole for the entire duration from birth to adolescence but as far as a newborn baby goes, it’s really not that hard. You change dirty diapers, keep him clean, feed him when he’s hungry and comfort him when he needs safety and closeness. That’s it.…


It’s been a bit over a week now since Ean’s birth. These are my thoughts and advice to you.

I am absolutely exhausted, this actually came as a surprise to me but between work, being a stay at home dad, managing a house construction and caring for a recovering wife from the marathon of labor there is very little room left for me. Both speech and thoughts are affected to the point of slurrying and having difficulty organising thoughts and words. It’s not so much the sleep deprivation, I never cared much for sleep. It’s the emotional stress that I have to assume any parent who cares for their own kids goes through. Your baby is crying and you are trying everything in your power to find what’s wrong and calm them down, but sometimes nothing hits the spot.

This is for me by far the most challenging thing so far. I can change a diaper with my eyes closed, I have learned techniques that I will go over later with you that helps to sooth an agitated baby, I even have a constant food dispenser in the shape of wives breast so I never have to worry about formula, temperatures, dosages and whether or not he had enough food. All of these things are as I expected, a cakewalk. It’s the helplessness and how it affects my self-esteem and confidence that is the most difficult to deal with.

My advice to you, whether you’re a mother or a father is, sleep, sleep, sleep. Any chance you get, any window of opportunity you get to catch a few REM cycles. Put away the phone, Instagram, Skype and Facebook and make sleep your number one priority at all times. It’s a rare commodity when you have a newborn so I can not stress this enough. Dishes, cleaning, friends and family can wait, just get some sleep. At this point in a newborn there is no sense of normalsy or patterns. Your baby can want to eat twice in three hours and then sleep long enough for you to go and check if he’s still breathing.

The highlight of the week was taking a shower with Ean. It was the first real thing that we shared and that wasn’t related to me performing a sanitary service.

Looking beyond the sleep deprivation and shattered confidence, this is truly a time that is both remarkable and amazing. You start noticing changes and nuances. You spend hours just staring at this little creature that is so helpless and your heart will throw off fireworks. I could barely look at him the first four days without tearing up simply because my body couldn’t contain my soul and overwhelming sense of amazement. Now, this is important to say: Not everyone has this experience and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Postpartum depression is very real and it’s perfectly normal, so if you find yourself not being able to connect with the baby immediately, don’t worry and give it some time, if you are concerned, seek help and council.…

Fatherologist on Facebook

In case the Fatherologist website is your main source for Fatherologist deliciousness, you are missing out on a lot of action. I try to reserve articles, reviews and longer rants for the website, let’s call it “content with more substance”. But things happen on a daily basis of course and my main outlets for this is Instagram (as mentioned below) and of course Facebook. If you still haven’t checked out and liked the Facebook page, you should definitely go ahead and do that to get all of that nutritious goodness that is, Fatherologist.

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Fatherologist on Instagram

I remember a time when there were content creators and content consumers and a gap between them. Nowadays everyone can be either one, at any time. It’s indeed a new era and a great way of democratising art and the perception of it, even if it brings an abundance of duckface selfiestick portraits and cheezy quotes. On my Instagram page you’ll find my attempts to capture the beauty of everyday life.


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“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”/Shakespeare

Shakespeare was right, of course it doesn’t really matter what we call him, he will still be who he will be. The question I ask myself is, will he feel and look like what we name him? You know some people you meet, they own their names in a way that you’d think they picked it themselves.…

The Dawn Of A New Life – This is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. The strongest and calmest, smartest and silliest. She is my compass and my favorite person to get lost with.

When she got pregnant I prepared myself for what I thought was going to be 9 months of caregiving, cravings and pampering. It was her sensitivity that made me fear the worst but one should never mistake sensitivity with frailty.

I can’t say enough how proud I am, how impressed I am with how she hascarried herself throughout these months. I’ve seen a strength and determination that I’ve never seen in anyone and it is not just a pleasure and a joy to share this with her, but an honor and privilege.

Today she’s 37 weeks pregnant, which means baby is officially full term and ready to pop at any time. One would think that being over 8 months pregnant would slow her down. Instead she is more active than ever, topping out yesterday at 8km of walking!

A few weeks ago I took her down to the sea to watch the sunrise and take some photos. I wanted to illustrate the beauty of mankind with the extraordinary beauty of nature as a backdrop.