For My Children

There are nights like this when I linger in my sons bedroom. Scratching his back and the back of his head, wishing him sweet dreams that I just placed inside his pillow after I fluffed it. Listening to his breathing get deeper and sleepier.

There’s an urge to hurry up and go watch the latest season of Modern Family but there’s a desire almost like guilt, to stay next to my child and absorb every atom and every moment together, not to miss any of it because it all might be gone one day.

There are many things I want to make time for, but it all crumbles and disintegrates between his curls as I run my fingers through his hair at bedtime.

All I really want is for him to understand how much I love him but my son is only 5 years old. He believes in santa and thinks bats only come out on Halloween and he still doesn’t understand what I really mean when I say that I will love him forever. I say, siempre, and he replies, para siempre. Always, and forever. That’s what we always say, every day. So I leave Modern Family for tomorrow and write these words in my mind instead. I just wanted to share them with you first before I go to bed.